5 Christmases
by woodrosegirl
Summary: 5 Christmases in the life of Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean.


Title: 5 Christmases

Rating: PG

Summary: 5 Christmases in the lives of Torvill and Dean.

Disclaimer: Not mine, this never happened as far as I know. I also don't own "White Boots" by Noel Strickland.

_First Christmas_

"Jayne! Jayne!" The sound of my mother's voice filters through my sleep and I inwardly groan at being woken up. "Jayne! It's Christmas!"  
"Christmas can wait" I say to myself, pulling the duvet over my head.  
"Jayne….you promised to help…and we have visitors coming"

As she speaks her voice gets louder and louder and before I know it she's thrown my bedroom door open.

"Jayne!"  
She pulls the duvet off my head.

"Merry Christmas dear"  
"Merry Christmas Mum"  
"Now. I need you to get up and help me with lunch, we've got visitors"  
"Who?" I say, intrigued.  
"Oh. Just…Colin and Tee..and Chris"

Suddenely I'm wide awake.

"Chris. Chris is coming here"  
"Yes"

I feel my cheeks flush, and my mother notices.

"Honestly" she says, rolling her eyes. "You've been skating together for most of the year, I would of thought you would have been used to each other by now"  
"We are…it's just…" I mumble, looking down.  
"Well, it's to late to cancel now" she says breezily. "Come on, I need your help in the kitchen"

"Jayne was ten when she stopped believing in Santa Claus" my mother announces through mouthfuls of turkey.  
"Mum!"

I feel my cheeks flush again.

"And…when we finally told her he didn't exist, she cried!"  
"Oh my God, I can't believe this" I mutter, avoiding Chris's eye while both sets of parents laugh.

After dinner, my mum and Tee push Chris and I into the living room, saying they needed 'Adult time'

"Don't forget to give each other your Christmas presents" Tee exclaims, hastily putting parcels into mine and Chris's hands. Once inside we look at each other awkwardly. I didn't get quite get our relationship, we were always fine with each other at the rink, however as soon as we got off it we were straight back to being socially awkward and shy teenagers.

"I'm sorry about the Santa thing" I blurt out.  
Chris smiles.  
"That's okay. I think it's sweet, and anyway I believed until I was nine"  
I smile back, and suddenly everything feels more relaxed. He looks down at the present in his hands.  
"Well, this isn't from Santa, but I hope you like it"  
I tear off the paper and I see a book, with a picture of a skater on it, called White Boots.  
"It's a book" Chris helpfully says. "Well, I don't know if you've read because it's about girls who skate, so….you probably have.."  
"No.,,.I haven't read it"  
"Well, the girl kinda reminded me of you, I know how much you like white skates"

I'm genuinely touched.

"Thank you. It's lovely, I can't wait to read it. Oh, here's yours"  
I thrust my present into his hands and he opens it.  
"It's to go with the pen I bought you for your birthday"

I had bought him a leather-bound notebook.

"I thought you could...or...we could…put our ideas in it"  
"It's great. Thanks"

He looks down at the present for a few seconds, looking happy, then, he suddenly leans over to me and kisses me gently on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas Jayne" he whispers.

I can feel my cheek tingling from his lips but I somehow manage to whisper back.

"Merry Christmas Chris"

_Christmas Away_

"I still don't see why we had to stay here for Christmas" I say, viciously stubbing my toe pick into the ice. Chris, standing next to me answers me with a long-suffering look.  
"Yes, I know" I sigh. "Easier to stay in Obertsdorf with our ice time, then go home and lose it….Doesn't mean it doesn't suck though"  
"Being with me sucks?"  
"No. Just being away from Mum and Dad sucks."  
It's his turn to sigh.  
"I know, I miss Dad and Tee too….but.." he says hesitantly. "At least we have each other"  
"That is true" I say despondently, because all my thoughts are on home.  
"Come on" he says. "Ice time"

I let him pull me into the middle of the rink, but I can't ignore the gnawing feeling inside of me that hates being miles away from my family on Christmas Eve. It grows so much I can't concentrate on what my feet are doing and after the hundredth time of falling I storm off the ice, pulling away from Chris and skate off to the seats. I drop my head into my hands, trying not to let the tears that are threatening fall. I hear Chris sink into the seat next to me.

"What's wrong?"  
"I want to go home" I say, my voice muffled. "I'm sorry. I just don't like being here. My room isn't my room….It has nothing Christmassy in it. It's like Christmas doesn't exist….and I have to wake up there, on Christmas day, without a tree and everything."  
"Do you want to finish for the day?" he asks.  
"I just can't concentrate, I'm sorry…I'm wasting the purpose that we're here for"  
"Jayne, if you're upset we're not going to get anywhere"  
"Are you angry?"  
Chris sounds surprised.  
"Of course not"  
He leans over and gives me a squeeze.  
"Go on, I'll be up in a bit to cheer you up"

I leave him and go up to my room, intent on just crying it out. After an hour and a lot of tears I hear a knock on my door and I open it to find Chris there, looking somewhat shifty.

"What's up?"  
"I've got you something…to cheer you up…..close your eyes."  
"If you pull out mistletoe I won't be impressed"

He laughs.  
"This is better…trust me"

I close my eyes and hear rustling.

"Go on…open"  
I open my eyes to find Chris holding a Christmas tree. I'm so shocked I can't speak properly.  
"How…where….why?"  
"Jayne, I need to come in…you have no idea how hard this was to get past reception"

I laugh, and stand aside to let him in, and he sets it down in the corner of my room.  
"And…" he disappears behind the door. "Decorations"  
"Wow" I can't think properly because I'm so surprised.  
"Come on then, lets decorate it"  
"Really?"  
"Yes really"  
He pauses.  
"Look, it's my fault we're here. I didn't think….not really."  
He recovers.  
"Come on, I need a bit of Christmas in my life too"

We're silent as we decorate the tree, until Chris strings the lights across the tree and flicks them on.

"Lie down" he quietly says.  
"What?"  
"Lie down, under the tree"  
I give him a funny look but he pushes me down anyway.  
"Look up" he says. I do so and I see why.  
"Wow. The lights."

The coloured lights flicker and changer colour, giving us a light show, and we watch for several minutes transfixed until Chris reaches out to hold my hand.

"Better?"

I turn to face him.

"Much better" I say. "Sorry. For getting upset on the ice. I know I'm too old for Christmas…it's just that…"  
"Christmas makes you want to be with the ones you love" he says, finishing my sentence.  
"Yes"  
"That's why I'm glad to be with you, even if we're away from home"  
He reaches out and moves my hair away from my eyes.

"I love you Jayne"  
Looking at him, under the tree, his face illuminated by the lights and I knew I was in love with him too.  
"I love you too. And I'd rather be here with you then at home, without you"

He tilts his face towards me and kisses me gently, and in that moment I forget all about being away from home.

_Trouble At Christmas_

It had been a tense year. Chris and I had been busier then ever with our tours, and somewhere in the middle of everything I had married Phil, and much to my disappointment, Chris had married Isabelle. Now it was Christmas and I was looking forward to going home to Nottingham with Phil and Chris. I hoped to spend some quality time with Chris without Isabelle around to spoil things. However, two days before we were all due to leave, Chris and Phil both dropped bombshells, Phil's came first.

He clicks the phone down and turns to me with an anxious look on his face.  
"What's wrong?"  
Phil sighs.  
"That was my mom. My aunt's ill and she wants me to go up for Christmas."  
"But…it's our first Christmas together as husband and wife"  
"I'm sorry….Look…why don't you come with me. We can have Christmas with my family, in America"  
"I can't" I say despondently. "I have to work straight after Christmas, I can't spend hours of it on a plane back from America."  
"Is that all it is?" Phil asks.  
"No…." I say sighing. "I can't leave Chris…Isabelle's away working….he'll be on his own"  
"No he won't, he'll have his family…and yours"

Not for the first time since our marriage I felt the familiar tug between my husband and Chris.

"I just can't. I'm sorry. Chris and I haven't spent a Christmas apart since we started skating together…and I do have to work"  
"Okay…I guess I'll book a flight"

Unhappy, I drive to the rink to work with Chris on new routines for our show. As I sit on the edge of the rink and change into my skates I hear Chris behind me.

"Hey…..what's wrong?" he asks seeing the look on my face.  
"Phil and I had a disagreement about Christmas"  
"Oh"  
He looks away, guiltily.  
"I kinda need to talk to you about that too"  
"Chris. Phil's going to America, please don't tell me you're going away too"  
He looks down.  
"Oh Chris. No"  
"Isabelle's not working after all. She wants us to spend Christmas in France"  
"And straight away you said yes?"

I'm dreading the answer.

"Kind of"  
"Chris!"

I feel my temper flaring.

"Well Jayne I'm sorry, I just thought you would have been happy to spend it with Phil"  
"And not with my best friend, who I've spent every Christmas with since we were kids!"  
"Jayne, please don't put me in the middle of you both"  
"I'm not, because you've already chosen her over me. Haven't you?"

He doesn't say anything.

"Great"  
I start unlacing my skates.

"Jayne. I'm sorry. Really I am. But Isabelle's….persuasive"  
He notices what I'm doing.

"Jayne….why are you?"  
"You made your choice, I'm making mine"  
I stand up.  
"Where are you going?"  
"I'm going home. Then I'm going to Nottingham. On my own"  
"Jayne. Please. Don't be like this"

He stands up and tries to pull me to him.

"No. Just don't" I say, close to tears. I manage to wriggle out of his grasp and I storm out of the rink.

Over the next few days Chris phones and phones but I refuse to answer them, and with a heavy heart I drive Phil to the airport, and then drive to Nottingham. Tee tries to talk to me on Christmas Eve.

"He keeps phoning" she says gently.  
"I don't want to talk to him"  
"He's worried about you"  
"Tell him I'm fine"  
"But you're not though"  
"Every year Tee, every year we spend Christmas together. I knew things would change when we both got married…..but not to this extent"  
"I know"  
Tee sighs.  
"He didn't want to go….it's just that Isabelle's so…"  
"Bitchy" I supply.  
"Jayne, I'm not Isabelle's biggest fan either, but we have to support his decisions"  
"I know" I say miserably. "I just miss him"  
"And he does you too"

Suddenly the doorbell goes.

"Probably carol singers" Tee says. "Excuse me"  
I nod and she leaves the room. Five minutes later I hear Tee shouting me through to the kitchen. I go through and I can't believe what I see when I walk through the door.

"Chris?!" I say in disbelief. He quickly crosses over to me and takes hold of my hands.  
"Don't run off. Just listen. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I'm an idiot. I made a huge mistake"  
I recover from my shock to ask.  
"What about Isabelle?"  
"She doesn't understand…it doesn't matter…she'll be fine…or not…I don't really care. Because….there's no contest between you and her…it's always you Jayne. You're my best friend…my everything…you always come first. I'm just sorry I didn't realise it earlier."

I feel tears pricking at the corner of my eyes and I throw my arms around him.  
"Oh Chris!"

I hug him fiercely, not wanting to let go.

"I'm so glad you're here. I hated the thought of spending Christmas without you"  
"Jayne, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else"

"Am I forgiven?"  
"Yes. Of course"

He kisses me gently on the forehead.

"Merry Christmas Jayne"  
"Merry Christmas Chris"

_Colorado Christmas_

"I can't believe you did it" I say, drying the plate that Jill hands me.  
"Did what?"  
"Christmas dinner for 4 adults and 4 children"  
"It'll be you next year"  
"I know. I'm already dreading it"  
"You'll be fine" Jill says, drying her hands. "More wine?" she asks.  
"Maybe. I should probably slow down a bit"  
Jill rolls her eyes.  
"It's Christmas Jayne, the cleaning is done, our husbands are sorting out the kids. Plus I've already had one a half bottles so you're way behind me"  
"Oh go on then"

Jill pours us drinks and we sit down. After a few minutes our respective husbands appear, joyously announcing that all four children were asleep, and then proceeding to attack the spirits with vigour. Even though I had arrived before Christmas Eve, Chris and I hadn't managed to have any alone time so when he proffers his hand and invites me to sit out on the balcony with him I happily accept.

Once outside he pulls me into his arms.  
"Hello you" he says, dropping a kiss on my forehead.  
"Hey you" I say, encircling my arms around his waist.  
"Missed you" he says. "It's been a few years I know….but…it's still not the same. I'm still not used to not seeing you every day"

Chris had moved to Colorado several years ago, and whilst we spoke every day on the phone, I knew what he meant. It really wasn't the same.

He pulls away and gestures me to sit down, and we relax in comfortable silence.  
"So…how's it been?" I ask.  
"Well…..Jill's…fine and Jack and Sam are…great….it's just still strange living this part of my life without you."  
"It's hard for me too. I know we talk on the phone all the same but….."  
"….It's not the same" Chris supplies.  
"I guess we got used to…"  
"…..Being with each other all the time…"  
"Being so….."  
"…In sync with each other"  
"….To the point where we can…."  
"….Finish each other's sentences"  
We look at each other and burst out laughing.

"I don't even notice that we do it you know" say's Chris.  
"Me too"  
"It really is beautiful here" I say, staring out at the view.  
"I know" says Chris. "I sure am a long way from Nottingham"  
"You did good" I say, patting him on the arm affectionaly. Suddenly we hear peals of laughter coming from inside.  
"I think our spouses are getting drunk" Chris says.  
"Then we should catch up" I say, downing my wine. "More?" I ask.  
"Hang on" says Chris. "Can you hear that?"  
"What?"  
"Listen"  
"I can hear….music"  
"Oh no" says Chris, dropping his head into his hands.  
"What?" I say, perplexed.  
"Where did she….I hid this…..Jayne, they're playing our Christmas song"  
"They wouldn't"  
"They bloody well would. Come on"

He takes my hand and pulls me inside. As we near the living room I hear Jill and Phil singing along.  
"Jill!" Chris exclaims as we step into the room.  
Jill looks guilty and pauses it.  
"I hid that from you!"  
"Well I found it! It was in the attic" she says matter of factly.  
"I like it" declares Phil.  
"Well we don't" grumbles Chris.  
"I like it too" Jill agrees.  
"Well, it's nice to know you appreciate our efforts" I say, trying not to laugh.  
"Can we finish listening to it then?" asks Jill. "It is a Christmas song, and it _is_ Christmas"  
"Once" Chris says. "Then it's going back in the attic. Forever"

Jill unpauses it and we listen for several moments.  
"It doesn't sound that bad" I muse to Chris.  
He turns to me with a slight twinkle in his eyes.  
"Follow up album then?"  
I laugh.  
"I didn't say it sounded that good either"

Much later we all retire to bed. Phil passes out as soon as he gets into bed but I'm restless, and after an hour of staring at the ceiling and listening to Phil snore I give up and head downstairs to make some tea. I see that the living room lights on and so I poke my head around the door. Chris is on the sofa, aimlessly flicking through TV channels.

"Hey" I say quietly.  
He looks up, surprised.  
"Everything okay?" he asks.  
"Can't sleep"  
"Tea?"  
"That's what I was thinking"  
He hauls himself off the sofa.  
"I'll make it, sit down"  
"Thanks"  
He returns, clutching a mug, and I take it from him gratefully.  
"Move off a sec"  
I do so, and he lies down and holds out his arms.  
"Christmas cuddle"

I move so I'm lying next to him in a spooning position and he puts his arms around me pulling me close to him.  
"Why can't you sleep?" He says, his breath tickling my ear.  
"Mind won't switch off. Phil's passed out drunk and snoring"  
"So's Jill"  
"Drunkards"

He's quiet for a moment.  
"Just close your eyes. Try and relax"  
He runs his hands through my hair, smoothing it back.  
"That's nice" I murmur, as he gently kisses the nape of my neck.  
"Better?"  
"Always am when I'm with you"  
"Good"

He shifts slightly to pull a blanket over us.  
"What about your tea?"  
"Too comfortable to move now"  
He carries on stroking my hair, and I feel myself relax into him. Warm and secure in Chris's arms I start to feel myself drift off.  
"Jayne" he says softly. "Do you want me to take you back to bed?"  
"No" I murmur. "Want to stay here with you"

And so we stay comfortable in each other arms, with whispered sleepy murmurings of "Love you's" and "Merry Christmas" before we both succumb to sleep.

_Fake Christmas_

"Jayne please wipe that grin off your face" Chris says petulantly as we walk through the tunnel. I swat him playfully on the arm.  
"Don't be miserable. It's not my fault that you hate losing. Or that you lost"  
"Hmmm" comes his reply.  
"Do you like my trophy?" I say. I was winding him up and I knew it.  
"I would like it better if it had my name on it"

We walk in silence until we reach the our dressing rooms.

"Go on loser, get changed and I'll buy you a drink in the hotel bar"  
"No." Chris says.  
"What?"  
"I mean…don't get changed."  
"Why?"  
"….Because, you look really pretty in that dress. Very sparkly, and very Christmassy"

I wasn't sure where he was going with this but I agreed.

"Okay, I've just got to grab my stuff, I'll be out in a few minutes"

I grab my stuff and meet Chris outside.

"Taxi will only be a few minutes…where's your trophy?"  
"I left in the changing rooms. Thought I'd wound you up enough about it….Plus, it's fake Christmas day. Can't have you being too miserable"  
"Fake Christmas day?"  
"Yeah. Well because we've just filmed something that's going out on Christmas day….and you won't be here on actual Christmas day…so it's fake Christmas day. Is that odd?"

He smiles warmly at me.

"No. I'm glad you see it that way"  
"Why?"  
"Because that's how I see it"

At that moment the taxi pulls up and Chris steps ahead of me to speak to the driver before opening the door for me. As we drive off I start to notice that we're not driving the route to the hotel.

"Chris, I think the drivers lost" I whisper.

Chris mocks confusion.

"Oh. Well, I gave him directions and…..yep…he's going the right way"  
"Where are we going?"  
"Well…..you know what you said about fake Christmas?"  
"Yes" I say, wary about where this is going.  
"Well, I had the same thought so…we're going out to a lovely restaurant to have fake Christmas dinner"  
"So that's why you didn't want me to get changed" I say, as the penny drops.  
"Yes"

I couldn't help the smile that was spreading across my face.

"Are you surprised?" he asks.  
"Yes, very surprised"  
"Good"

He reaches out and takes my hand, running his thumb along my knuckles.

When we pull up at the restaurant I'm completely overwhelmed by how lovely it looks, with fake snow and fairy lights.

"Chris this looks….beautiful"  
"Only the best for us Jayne" he says, taking my hand and leading me inside. The restaurant is busy but the waiter shows us through to a small side area complete with a sparkling tree and a roaring fire.

"Wow" I say, sitting down at our table while the waiter pours us some champagne. He leaves the bottle in the ice bucket and I look at Chris with sparkling eyes.

"I can't believe you organised this…..it's amazing"  
"Well, it was also going to be my celebratory dinner, but I lost so it's now your celebratory dinner"

He holds up his glass.

"To fake Christmas, and Team Torvill"  
"Cheers"

After the starters, the champagne is finished and Chris orders another bottle however I start to feel it going to my head.

"I don't think I should have anymore"  
"Nonsense" says Chris, filling up my glass. "You're here to enjoy yourself. Skating is done for the year. Relax. I promise I won't groan when I lift you" he teases.  
"You only groan because you're old" I tease back.  
"I'm always going to be younger than you"

Dinner arrives, and although it's not Christmas yet, it doesn't feel strange having it. Afterwards, Chris order a third bottle of champagne which surprises me as I didn't realise how much I had drunk.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"  
"Don't look at me, you're drinking it faster than me"  
"Am I, oh dear"  
"I've seen you and Karen drink more"  
"Yes, but it never ends well"  
"It usually ends with you throwing up, and me having to put you to bed"  
"Exactly. It never ends well"

After we finish the dessert and the third bottle I'm feeling decidedly squiffy, and as we leave the restaurant the cold air hits me and suddenly I feel ten times worse. I half stumble, and Chris grabs my arm.

"Are you okay?"  
"Shoes" I mumble. "Stupid shoes"  
"I don't think it's the shoes fault. More the wearer of the shoes"  
"I disagree…but I think the shoes are telling me to sit down"

He guides me into the back of a taxi, and I sink down, my head starting to spin slightly. Chris joins me in the back.

"You have that look on your face"  
"What look?" I say, closing my eyes.  
"The one you have before you throw up and I have to put you to bed"  
"I'm not going to throw up"  
"Sure?"  
"Pretty sure"

I move close to him and rest my head on his chest while he strokes my hair. By the time we reach the hotel I'm half asleep. Chris nudges me gently.

"Jayne. Jayne. Do you want me to carry you in?"  
"No" I say, wrestling my eyes open. "Just don't walk to far away from me…..or let me fall over"  
He chuckles.  
"Do I ever let you fall over?"

He takes my arm to guide me, and I lean into him. After what seems like an eternity we reach my room, and I happily go straight to my bed, kicking off my shoes and lying down. I feel the bed sink as Chris sits down beside me.

"Jayne, you need to take your dress off"  
"You do it" I mumble, not really wanting to move.  
"Sit up then"  
I push myself into a sitting position and Chris unzips my dress, then helps me into my pyjamas.

"How comes you're sober, and the room is spinning for me?" I ask, lying down as Chris pulls the duvet over me.  
"You drank a lot more than me. I told you this in the restaurant"  
"Oh yes"

Chris eyes me worriedly.

"Maybe I should stay, just in case you're ill"

Suddenly, the thing that I've been pushing into the back of my mind comes into full force. Chris is leaving tomorrow.

"Don't go" I say in a small voice.  
"Back to my room? I just said I'd stay"  
"No. Don't go to Colorado" I say, feeling very selfish.  
"Jayne" he says, reaching out to hold my hand. "I have to go"  
"I know" I say sadly. "And I know that I'd do the same, if it was my kids over there"

He presses my hand to his lips.

"Jayne, I'm so happy that I get to spend months with you again, working together every day….you know that don't you"  
"Yes" I say. "I just hate it when we have to say goodbye. I don't even want to go to sleep now because it's wasting time that I could be spending with you"  
"You're the one whose driving me to the airport. I don't want you to be cranky and sleep deprived."  
"I won't be….anyway I can sleep when you leave"

He eyes me, but I'm already starting to feel more alert.

"Okay, but if you fall asleep I'm not waking you up. All these years together have taught me not too, you're grouchy"

I laugh at his words and he moves over to the empty side of the bed.

"You better not hog all the duvet either"  
"I'll try not too"

He turns on the TV.

"Shall we see if there's any Christmas films on?"  
"Yeah sure" I say, snuggling close to him as he puts his arms around me.

"Chris…In case I do fall asleep…thank you for fake Christmas"  
"You're welcome. Next year we'll have Christmas together, I promise you"  
"Sounds good"

He kisses me softly on my forehead.

"Merry fake Christmas Chris"  
"Merry fake Christmas Jayne"  
*******************************


End file.
